Friday, December 4, 2009

Chapter 8 - Showdown at 'Singh da Dhaba'.....Final Cut!

The Chinese Agent finally gets the point and drops his Kung Fu sword on the floor...The Hen realises that its time for it to exit, as a violent clash of the Titans was about to begin! (The Hen flaps its wings and goes back into some other B-Grade, Steven Seagal Starrer, John Woo directed, shitty action movie where it would idiotically fly through an action sequence into the camera again....uninvited!!....God save people who watch John Woo and Steven Seagal movies)

With the blink of an eye, the Chinese Kung Fu Agent jumps onto ACP Screw Singh while punching both the American Agents with his either hands....although he was able to bring the American Agents on the floor, his kick never reaches the ACP (because ACP's reflexes were far better than the best martial he always consumed Dabur Chyavanprash everyday!). ACP does a counter attack, and throws a flurry of punches at the Chinese guy, most of which was blocked, except for the last one which not only breaks the 'cheap' Chinese skull but also sends him flying into the Shouchalya where Inspector Sulabh Sandas was hiding! Sandas yells with fear and comes running out of the Shouchalya....ACP tells him, "don't worry Inspector, the Chinese Agent in unconscious!"; Sandas whispers, "No! I did not yell for that, I yelled because I saw a big cockroach in the Sandas Pot (Shit Pot)". ACP shouts at the Inspector, "Get back inside you good for nothing idiot!!!".

ACP notices the American agents getting up for a brutal counter attack; The American agents find that the Chinese agent is down and out and looks at ACP with nothing but contempt! One of the Agent speaks up, "So, I guess its just the three of us!"; Inspector Sandas yells from the toilet, "No! No! Count me in too, Its actually 4 of us!!".

The American agents begin a variety of attacks on the ACP, but none of them work! Finally, the American agents realized that the ACP is too fast and strong for them, so they decided to use bio-technology to defeat the ACP. Both the agents took out syringes from their respective pockets which were filled with 'synthetic bio-active steroids', and stuck it up their shoulders and pumped up the entire portion of drugs to make them selves stronger! Suddenly, their muscles started growing and expanding, while ripping their expensive suit apart, and turning into Hulks of gragantuan proportions. Now, ACP Screw Singh knew one thing very well ...he knew he was 'Screwed'!

Obviously, these two muscled hulks started beating 38 types of crap out of Screw Singh! After turning him into minced meat, the over sized hulks thought the fight was over and were about to walk away, when something happened! The winds started blowing...pheeeewww phooooooo pheeewwww phoooooo... the near by temple bells started ringing, ting tong tang ting pang pong and from no where, someone started reciting the bhajans and shlokas amidst all this ACP Screw Singh starts getting the divine powers, (thanks to the prayers of millions of Indians), and he gets up to his feet and starts walking towards both the Hulks!

The first Hulk jumps on him, hoping to bring him down, but instead ACP catches hold of his neck and does a body slam on the ground...crushing the Hulk's bones to powder! The other hulk kicks the ACP to the wall...this time the wall breaks but nothing happens to the all the temple Gods and Prayers are with him...he grabs the Hulk by his hair and punches him so hard on his face... that the Hulk falls unconscious!

Our ACP did it! He defeated the evil foreign forces! (at least for now)

Inspector Sulabh Sandas comes out of the Shouchalya and speaks, "Sir! You did it! you did it! you are great!...our ASS will be very happy!"...ACP says, "what?! your ass will be happy?? how dare you swear in front of your senior!!!"...Inspector Sandas corrects himself,"No Sir! I meant Ayyo Swami Sriranganathan would be very happy!!"; "oh!" said the ACP while smiling at his achievement. But he knew what was coming...this fight was going to get uglier by the day!

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