Monday, December 7, 2009

Chapter 9 - Russians visit ISRO

Russian President Vladimir Puke-in decides to visit ISRO with his senior scientists to understand the latest developments in the Mars mission and also because he was curious to meet the 14 cosmonauts who would be taking part in Operation Mangal (Indian Mars Mission). He wanted to replicate India's model of 'Resource Development for Inter-Planetary Voyage and Survival'. He also wanted to borrow the cosmonauts for his Pluto Mission!

Scene 1 (at the lobby of ISRO): Two 43 year old 'Air India' Aunty Hostesses welcome President Vladimir by applying perfunctionary red tikas on the forehead and putting a garland around the neck (With the Red Tika and Garland the President resembles an over aged North Indian Bride Groom about to get married). President Vladimir is greeted by Dr. Rajamohan Shah with a firm handshake which is followed by fake smiles (for the press) and millions of flashes and clicks! Vladimir speaks first, "Dr. Raj Эдуард wee arree verrry happee to meeet you! Юлиан"; to which Dr. Rajmohan replies, "Actually the pleasure is ours! We are really happy about working in partnership with Russia for a project which has both geo-political and scientific significance!".

Vladimir looks around and asks Dr. Rajamohan, "Эдуард By thee way, why iss everyone weearing a gass mask?" to which Sr. Scientist SMART (Shana Manhoos Aur Rapchick Taporivala) replies, "All of us fear an onslaught of a 'Super Stinker' Gas which is a mixture of Hydrogen Sulphide, Carbon Mono Oxide, Mustard Gas and Methane!!"; Vladimir immediately puts on a mask and asks, "what on earth is the source of this highly poisonous 'Super Stinker' Gas???"; to which everyone looks at Dr. Rajamohan Shah! Dr. Rajamohan gives an embarrassed smile, shrugs and says, "What can I do, I always have an upset stomach due to the spicy Chicken Curry which I eat every day!"...he continues,"Now that you mentioned...", (he gives out a nasty fart on a high pitch and high octave)....peeeooo...phurrrrrrr....phat pat phat pat! The two 43 year old 'Air India' Aunty Hostesses fall unconscious and some migratory birds in the vicinity fall dead due to the toxicity of the gases which escaped Dr.Rajamohan!

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