Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Chapter 6 - 60 Cents and the White House

The Chief of FNCBIISA '60 Cents' reaches the White House to brief the President of the United States of America - Ms. Condolezza Chapathi. The Security Personnel of the White House (dressed in a black Armani suit, White Shirt, Black Tie, Ray Ban Goggle, M1911 Colt .45ACP Handgun and of course a earphone connected to the right ear) stop '60 Cents' and his two body guards (The two of them Agent Gobar Ganesh and Agent Champat Chooni are actually RAW agents who had managed to infiltrate into the FNSCBIISA and become the Chief's personal bodyguards). 60 Cents blurts, "whoa whoa whoa whoa! yeoooo! nevah stop a 'black' man in a 'white' house!! you know who I am...?"; the White House Guard said, "aren't you the Rap Artist '60 Cents'?". 60 Cents smiles and says, "yeoo man! this nigga brotha forgives you for stoppin me, cause you know me for ma music!!...you like ma music man??"; the White House Guard says, "Well, I aint a fan of Rap or you, but we usually use your music for torturing the terrorists in Abu Ghraib!! I hope that answers your question!"...60 Cents looks at his own Body Guards with embarrassment. The next moment, 60 Cents whips out his FNSCBIISA Badge and says, "Yeo Homie! you don't let me and ma men meet the President, you would be charged with being a threat to National Security...I hope this nigga brothah has answered YOUR question!!!". The White House guard gets a little perturbed, presses his ear phone and whispers into the mic; the guard nods his head and says, "We have a clearance to let you in and meet the President, but not dressed like this!!" pointing at 60 Cents' dress! (60 Cents was dressed in a hooded white sweatshirt, red DKNY Cap, really loose jeans which was almost about to drop while revealing his red Calvin Klein undergarment, white sneakers and of course 'lots of' gold and silver dog chains hangin around his neck which he borrowed from another gangsta rap artist -canine...err sorry...K9). 60 Cents growls back, "whoa whoa whoa you do not tell a nigga brothah how to freakin dress up..got that you white skinned swine!!!". "alright! alright! go ahead...!" said the White House guard and continued.."...but don't forget to share the copy of your latest album 'Hip Hop till you Drop' with us..so that we could turn some more convicts at Abu Ghraib into dead meat!". 60 Cents looks at his own bodyguards from the corner of his eye with utter embarrassment while they head towards the Oval Office and says,"these white skin dumb heads know nothing bout Hip Hop man!".


As the three of them walk in the White House, Agent Champat as a part of his covert operation, was secretly clicking photographs of the insides of the White House using his Kodak disposable camera (which he had brought from a flea market in Ooty for Rs. 50) and Agent Gobar was dropping leaves in every room he crossed. Agent Champat watched in horror as Agent Gobar kept throwing banana leaves all over the White House! While 60 Cents was looking elsewhere, Champat came running to Gobar and whispered hoarsly.. " What the hell are you doing?? Why are you dropping those leaves all over the White House??!!"..Agent Gobar replies proudly, "I am an Electronics Engineer from the elite institute of IIT Mumbai and after my graduation I joined the secret service (RAW); during the initial days of my training the lecturer had given some insight into the concept of getting information using 'leavesdropping'". Champat says, "You IITian dumbass idiot, it is 'eavesdropping' and not 'leavesdropping'!!!"; Gobar retorts, "How can I be wrong? I am from IIT.... according to the Theory of Relativity, space and time are actually same irrespective of the frame of reference; and according to Scientist Robert Pseudopunk in his book 'Particle Physics Explored' in the Chapter 5, Page 212, para 3, line 4, all matter and energy however different they may seem in terms of its structure, size, mass and behaviour in Newtonian or Einsteinium physics, they are actually made up of fundamental particle called Quarks, and to explain this ...."; Agent Champat shouts "Gobar!! Wait!! Wait!! Wait!! Shut the hell up!!..My goodness gracious!!! Man..I gotto tell you this..just like all the IITians..you are just a pile of dump...you are trash! Just shut the hell up, stop throwing those leaves or leavedropping or whatever shit you were doing and follow me quitely!!".

...to be continued....

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Its funny like no one's business...hehehe good job bro!!awaiting the next chapter.. ;-)

Anonymous said...

my god! this is a crazy form of blogging!!!! never read anything as wicked as this...kudos to you man!

David said...

haha! good one!

Pandey said...

Top Class guru!! Mazzaa aa gaya...it was damn funny! awaiting your next chapter :D

Strange_Currencies said...

...Nailed them in the final para... ahhahaha.... the "Chapathi" thing might get you in trouble..watch out