Sunday, November 22, 2009

Chapter 7 - Indian Space Reseach Organization

The Indian Scientists were unaware of the geo-politics and the other events unfolding behind them. They were totally dedicated and involved in the Mars Mission - Operation Mangal. The center where all the action was taking place was Indian Space Research Organization and all the preparations were on in full throttle. The Shuttle technology was borrowed from the Russians and the Blue Print of the program was stolen from NASA (stolen by RAW). The Russians also benefited from the Blue Prints....they had already designed their own Pluto Mission by reverse engineering those designs. The Technological success of the mission completely rested upon the able shoulders of Sr. Scientist Shana Manhoos Aur RapchickTaporivala in short SMART!

Dr. SMART had an able assistant - the pot bellied, pan chewing Dr. Deshpande (Dressed in a long White Over Coat, White Shirt, White Trousers, White Underwear, White Belt, White Socks, White Knee length Boots) who loved Banarasi Pan which kept his mouth full....and brains empty (after all Mahakavi Amitabh Bachhan said...Khaike Pan Banaraswala, Khul jai band akal ka tala!). Dr.SMART asked, "Deshpande, did you bring the 14 finalists who were chosen for being the cosmonauts of the Mars Mission?"; Deshpande replied, "Yes Sir! they are waiting in the Briefing Room. They all survived the extreme conditions of our testing facilities! In fact they were laughing all the while...they are perfectly designed for the inter-planetary voyage!" Dr. SMART (while watching them from a one way mirror) asked, "Give me a list of all the tests that you conducted on them". Deshpande replied, "Sir, I had collected these 14 people from the same slum where the movie 'Slumdog Millionaire' was Mumbai; They thought, I was calling them for another movie shoot on behalf of Oscar winning Director Danny Boyle for Slumdog Millionaire - 2, but I told them, that this was something even better, we would give them free food, clothes and place to live for the next 6-7 months and that we put them in a box for a very long time before sending them to another slum called Mars. All they have to do is to collect some stones, put our flag on the ground and come back, thats all. They said it was too easy a job for them. So I thought it is prudent to test them by creating the extreme space like conditions in our facilities."

Dr. SMART asked, "Describe the tests.."; to which Deshpande replied, "To begin with we needed to check on their capability to survive in an enclosed space for a long long time; so we locked them up in a trunk for 2 months and when we opened the trunks, we thought they would have been dead, but to our utter surprise they were laughing, smiling and happy all the time...they were telling us, they have never experienced such a spacious room ever in their lives compared to the cramped rooms of their Slum!!! Then we decided to starve them of food and water, they survived the hunger and thirst for a straight 25 days without even flinching; when we enquired, they said it was normal for the beggers in the slum to go hungry and thirsty for many many days together so it was hardly a challenge. So, we decided to test their ability to survive a nuclear radiation fallout, so we threw them into a nuclear reactor!! We thought, they would get fried to death!! when we opened the reactor door we found the little slumdog kids playing with the plutonium balls as if it were cricket balls!! It baffled all of us, on how the nuclear radiation was not affecting them a bit; to get to the bottom of this, we went back to their slum to pick up some samples of the materials which surround them and we were amazed to find biologically hazardous substances in the open sewerage line which used to flow through the Slum. The nuclear reactor near the slum, dumps all the irradiated toxic wastes into the sewerage water and every morning the slum dwellers wash their clothes, wash their utensils and bathe in it!!! believe it or not, they have developed immunity to nuclear radiation!! Last but not the least, we wanted to test their ability to withstand physical abuse by locking them up in a box that would vibrate violently throwing them to the walls on each side; we were really really sure that they woud fail this test! But, when we opened the door, to our surprise we found them laughing heartily claiming that this violent vibration was just like a tickle for them. I realized the kind of beating that they get from the cops and gangsters alike everyday of their life, they have developed the capability to withstand any kind of physical abuse that one may face during a dangerous inter-planetory travel!!


Kapoor said...

HeHeHe!! was funny...keep it up bro!

Strange_Currencies said...

..... S@*#t.. I like this stuff...